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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Brian Chen's Leads


1. Direct Address:
 You shift your feet, waiting for the center to snap the ball. Your eyes are on the quarterback, trying to read where he will throw the football. A loud “Hike” was shouted by the quarterback as the receivers began to run their routes. You follow your guy, eyes now concentrated on him. As you see his hands go up trying to catch the ball, you have to make a decision, fast. As you see the football go into the receiver’s hands, you make your tackle, trying to bring the guy down and knock the ball out. Your helmet knocked on his helmet, as both of you drop to the ground. When you are being helped up by your teammates, you see the ref pull out a flag, and realized that you had been called for an unnecessary roughness fowl. Three days later, the NFL fines you $75,000 for the play you made.

2. Startling Statement:
 NFL defensive players are being fined up to $75,000 for making hits on receivers. Hits that may eventually be a big deal. Hits that may have made the difference between a touchdown and a turnover on down.  Hits that get players praised for in the locker room after the game. Now, as more new, soft players enter the league, there just isn’t enough wit in them to take the big hits and continue to play the game.

3. Twist:
Hits to the head in the game are causing more concussion than ever. The NFL is now trying to protect its players by fining defensive players for making these hard, dangerous hits. More fowls are being called for some, once legal, tackles made by defenders. Many players, including Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens, don’t agree.  

Brian

5 comments:

  1. By far my favorite is the first lead, which is the direct address. it seems to attract the reader more than the one with lots of facts.

    -Mister Pip

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  2. I'm not exactly sure what the leads are trying to say. Are these fines good or bad? If they're bad, then use the Direct Address. But if they're good, use the Twist. However, if the fines are in between, you could use the Startling Statement to illustrate both sides of the argument.

    -[Asian X]

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  3. Maby a little more pazazzz. its only ok

    N-Rod

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  4. I'm not interested in sports so none of the leads were especially eye catching. However, they were well written and I'm sure that they would catch the eye of anyone who was remotely interested in sports.
    --D. Polohas

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  5. I like the startling statement one the best.

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