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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Brian's Feature Leads

Descriptive:
Twenty bikes flew across the horizon charging into the wind, every rider pedalling hard. “CAR BACK!!” one of the people in the back shouted as he hears a car approaching in the back of the group. The whole group slid to their right, allowing the car to go by, then immediately leaned to their left, retaking the road. Another five minutes quickly ran by and the two people in the front each slid to their left or right to drop back to the rear of the group, allowing the next two bikers to come up and take the “pole”.  

Compare and Contrast:
Thirty years ago this group had been a young and talented bike group in Austin. The young fellows in their twenties and thirties were just starting to learn how to ride. They were entering races, and riding hard. Now, although they are many of them are in their fifties, some in their sixties, they aren’t backing down. Most of them still go out every weekend, riding either fifty miles on Sundays, ninety miles on Saturdays, or even both. But even so, many are growing weaker and weaker as time goes by, and some are thinking about not biking anymore. Although their bodies aren’t supporting them to keep doing this competitive sport anymore, none of them are willing to leave their belovin’ biking.

Narrative:
City of the Violet Crown.” This was how the writer O’Henry described Austin with its beautiful sunset. This is also how this thirty year-old bike club got its name. “It describes the purplish light at sunset, and I liked it, so we chose the name for the club.” says Jay Bond, one of the oldest members of the club. The Violet Crown Sports Association, or commonly called the Violet Crown bike club, was created in 1981, and is one of the oldest bike clubs in the city of Austin, which has grown to be a city full of biking-loving people since then.

8 comments:

  1. I think the compare and contrast is the best.

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  2. I like the descriptive lead. It really pulls the reader into the story, and piques my curiosity.

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  3. My favorite one was the descriptive lead, because it really entices the reader into reading the story, where the others don't. your second best is your second, and my least favorite was the last, though they we're all pretty good.

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  4. The second... though choose another word instead of "young" for the second time you say it.

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  5. I like the first lead the best (descriptive), as it was interesting to me even though I know nothing about car racing. I would however change to present tense. Even if it happened in the past you can still write like "Twenty bikes fly across the horizon" etc.

    :Deborah

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  6. I like the second lead the most.The first one is good but some of it is a little confusing so maybe if you reword it that one could work too.
    ~AK-47

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  7. I also like the first one because it got me interested even though this is not something that I normaly read

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  8. I MEANT BIKE RACING. OBVS.

    :Deborah

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